something to reflect or ponder?

interestingly enough when i was clearing up my room, i found this little list i made in uni year 2 during econs tutorial. EC1101E. i wrote it during tutorial, alongside the company of my darling tutorial friend (sorry i forgot who i took econs with... was it evelyn?) while my econs tutor, was staring ata board blankly. she was a PRC, prolly a noob and my list was titled 'REASONS TO FIRE THE TEACHER'. i then began to list 13 reasons why she should be fired. 

1) language barrier (very very poor command of english)
2) dresses poorly (t-shirt and jeans)
3) makes no sense (she really didn't, noone understood her)
4) contradicts herself (like in the next split second kind, oh and she tends to talk to herself)
5) pauses too long to think redundantly (harsh but true.. she didn't seem to know her work)
6) smiles at herself (in a creepy way)
7) confused about her own work (need i say more)
8) skips questions (she makes us do the work and she skips a major part of it! wtf)
9) arrives late for lessons (like 15min late.. wth)
10) talks in incomplete sentences (no comments)
11) poses to think very unglamly (yes.. i couldnt even stand the way she stood)
12) jumps into the answer without looking at the question thoroughly (we questioned her intelligence here)
13) poor explanations (very random and HUH?)

now that i understand the pains (there's always gd and bad) of being a teacher and have new found respect for those inta teaching profession, i feel a tad guilty being so harsh on her. but on retrospect, i guess everything in my list was true. and yes, back to the previous entry on BLAME, i do blame her for de-inspiring me to finally do well for econs ( i really tot i had a gd 2nd chance to love/understand the subject post jc). ah well. can't believe this week is almost over. feeling both happy and sad. 

weather blabber

blame it on the weather, blame it on the skies, blame it on everything that goes awry. blame it on the people, blame it on genes, blame it on everything that makes me want to scream. blame circumstances for loss of hope, blame it on society for structuring moulds. blame it on the country for not being cold, blame it on people who never grow old. blame it on youth, blame it on the recession, blame it on upcoming competition. blame it on the second guesses, blame our darkest thoughts. blame me, hate me, hate myself for hating me. confusion, is all i see. shambles of life that fragment me. inner turmoil, myself, i can no longer see. have i really lost me?